DavidAtwell

Holding it up to its apparent lack of truth to try to obscure our shared sense of vision like its on the top of a list of things to do, like im redefining my own little window of zen, against the will of mother nature it seems... Its just another throw-back to being backed into a corner in a round room.

finally, it's working! i have succeeded in my attempts to escape the grip of time. it has become clear to me that the difference between night and day has been rendered null. i still havent proven my theory that i will no longer age and will live forever, but i've got a pretty good feeling about this one. time, time, time, time, time..... you defenseless fool.... catch me if you can

whats on my mind is a blur
its moving too fast for sure
cant seem to grasp it at all
my expectations too small

window of opportunity, transparent
its become apparent i spared it
i stare at its faint recollection
now just a fading reflection

The sun may be blazing on me, but im sweating for different reasons. It seems i get my best luck during different seasons, leaving it in the hands of what others are dealing. But the temperature outside isn't what im feeling, see, Im feeling time slipping away from me while its gaining on me at the same time, im feeling like the reason why i dont question why outright might lie with the fact that if shit just dont feel right, well,sometimes thats the only thing in my life i feel like standing by. Why speak and spell it out for others to see when its my sight that perceives what illustrates real life to me? It would be a waste of time, a waste of breath;so a vacant sigh should define it best. Many aimless tries of mine fall off the wayside in these trials of life and these days its a question whether im awake in the daytime or breaking my unfocused concentration when something obvious is in my face like an unnoticed moment or situation i've been storing up hope for but i mistake it for noise or it just goes ignored because im always so wrapped up in "wtf am i here for", generally speaking, as well as in the present sense. Im terrible at leaving things up to my own expected intellect, but i swear im just really distracted by the aftermath of my brainspace's trainwreck. Im not trying to refrain from saying things that actually make sense but im afraid that this is the only way to express what impacts the little bit of  me that still gets hit back when reality collapses and smacks me with that breath-taking check that i need, shit, double-check me for accuracy, please, im up against myself here and thats my own worst enemy, im the only one known to be the first to catch a glance casted indirectly at me, from me, and thats the thing, see. I know it sounds funny, but i need to be sure to be at a place to observe myself observing the world and everything else because i refuse to follow thoughts popping up from undisclosed locations like a robot under a preprogrammed set of instructions because i see no actual benefit of just shufflin along and not enacting my own free will and as a matter of fact i do think that i will think of whats the source of the things that i actually do feel as opposed to the things that i am expected to, and yes, its true, i too can be a one man wrecking crew, and if you insist on taking up space in my brain then the fuckin rent is due, im up to my neck in distorted truths, it takes alot of intention to see through the fog that leaves me in suspense in this void i find myself in, again and again...